Howl’s Moving Castle (2004 film)

A wallflower falls for a magical pissbaby—yep, it’s another Miyazaki film with an undeserved cult following. So formless that there’s about an hour between major plot developments, Castle moves along like a first draft of itself, occasionally dazzling with its style but mostly boring the audience into submission. I understand I’m supposed to be rooting for Howl’s growth, but most of the things he does that affect the plot occur offscreen and he spends far too much time onscreen acting a petulant child to be enchanted with him. Better than trash like Totoro and Nausicaä, but not by much.

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